Start Your 90-Day Adventure With
Insights For Living
(A Devotional)
90 Days of
Transformation
Daily devotionals to fortify your relationships, marriage, premarital relationships, and covenant relationships.
Your 90-Day Journey Begins Here
Day 1
MARRIAGE IS A LOVE AFFAIR (Part 1)
And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13 (NKJV)
Love is the foundation for a lasting marital relationship and is often described as the most powerful of the forces of destiny, faith and hope being the other two. It binds families, fosters friendships, and forms the cornerstone of durable marital relationships. One of my spiritual fathers warned me when I was about to choose a life partner that marriage is a love affair; after thirty -five years in marriage and still counting I have come to appreciate this truth.
Marriage is a relationship built on giving and receiving. It involves selfless dedication of your time, your spirit, soul and body to each other. In marriage, love is essential for fully giving yourself to each other without reservation. This is built on mutual respect. The God kind of love, known as AGAPE, is a selfless and unconditional bond that goes beyond physical attraction and feelings. A marriage built on Agape love as the foundation will be durable as well as nurture trust, respect, and mutual understanding.
Marriage is a covenant relationship according to the scriptures. Malachi 2:14 (ESV) … Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. A covenant is a bond, and hinges on terms referred to as the terms of the covenant. Understanding your responsibilities to each other is important as marriage is not designed to be one sided as some people are inclined to think.
In the marriage relationship the terms of the covenant are the responsibilities of the parties towards each other and love is what helps you carry out your responsibilities. The man has the responsibility as the head to lead, protect, serve and provide for his home. Love is the sceptre for rulership as Jesus demonstrated and taught in Luke 22:26 (ESV)… Rather, let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves.
The woman on the other hand has the responsibility to support her husband in the home and she does this by submission. It takes love to willingly submit to the authority of your husband.
Therefore, at the heart of every marital relationship must lie a deep, abiding love that goes beyond the superficial. This love is not just about the initial spark of attraction but is a deliberate and continuous commitment to care for another person. It involves a profound sense of commitment, where the partners prioritize each other’s happiness and well-being with a sense of responsibility and love. This is what will create a safe space where individuals can be their true selves, free from judgment and fear.
CALL TO ACTION:
- Reflect today on what marriage is to you. Is it a casual or a covenant relationship? Covenants are not to be broken.
- Pray and ask God to help you understand the importance of covenants.
- Decide what your values and attitude towards marriage will be. Will it be as dictated by God or the world?
- Remember, if you follow God’s principles in building your relationships, you will be preserved by God from evil.
Day 2
MARRIAGE IS A LOVE AFFAIR (Part 2)
Three things will last forever – faith, hope, and love,and the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13 (NLT)
Love is the foundation for a lasting marital relationship and is often described as the most powerful of the forces of destiny, faith and hope being the other two. It binds families, fosters friendships, and forms the cornerstone of durable marital relationships. One of my spiritual fathers warned me when I was about to choose a life partner that marriage is a love affair; after thirty -five years in marriage and still counting I have come to appreciate this truth.
Marriage is a relationship built on giving and receiving. It involves selfless dedication of your time, your spirit, soul and body to each other. In marriage, love is essential for fully giving yourself to each other without reservation. This is built on mutual respect. The God kind of love, known as AGAPE, is a selfless and unconditional bond that goes beyond physical attraction and feelings. A marriage built on Agape love as the foundation will be durable as well as nurture trust, respect, and mutual understanding.
Marriage is a covenant relationship according to the scriptures. Malachi 2:14 (ESV) … Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. A covenant is a bond, and hinges on terms referred to as the terms of the covenant. Understanding your responsibilities to each other is important as marriage is not designed to be one sided as some people are inclined to think.
In the marriage relationship the terms of the covenant are the responsibilities of the parties towards each other and love is what helps you carry out your responsibilities. The man has the responsibility as the head to lead, protect, serve and provide for his home. Love is the sceptre for rulership as Jesus demonstrated and taught in Luke 22:26 (ESV)… Rather, let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves.
The woman on the other hand has the responsibility to support her husband in the home and she does this by submission. It takes love to willingly submit to the authority of your husband.
Therefore, at the heart of every marital relationship must lie a deep, abiding love that goes beyond the superficial. This love is not just about the initial spark of attraction but is a deliberate and continuous commitment to care for another person. It involves a profound sense of commitment, where the partners prioritize each other’s happiness and well-being with a sense of responsibility and love. This is what will create a safe space where individuals can be their true selves, free from judgment and fear.
CALL TO ACTION:
- Reflect today on what marriage is to you. Is it a casual or a covenant relationship? Covenants are not to be broken.
- Pray and ask God to help you understand the importance of covenants.
- Decide what your values and attitude towards marriage will be. Will it be as dictated by God or the world?
- Remember, if you follow God’s principles in building your relationships, you will be preserved by God from evil.
Day 3
MARRIAGE IS A LOVE AFFAIR (Part 3)
Three things will last forever – faith, hope, and love,and the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13 (NLT)
Yesterday, we established that there are three shades of love, and each has different characteristics. This shall be discussed below.
The first is the Godkind of love which we refer to as AGAPE (Grk).
This is unconditional love. Also referred to as covenant love. The kind of love God has for us. 1 Cor. 13: 3-8 (MSG) If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always “me first,” doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end. Love
never dies…
This love is a product of the recreated spirit; it is selfless and based on commitment that binds people together in covenant, in marriage. It forms the foundation for a lasting marriage because it is stable and gives strength to the marital relationship. “…Never looks back but keeps going to the end. Love never dies…” 1 Cor. 13:7-8
An example is the covenant between David and Jonathan. Jonathan was willing to give up the throne for David. 1 Sam 23:17-18, 2 Sam 1:26. This kind of love makes you put the interest of the other above your own interests. We can conclude that covenant love is sacrifice-driven and characterized by commitment, and a foundation for a lasting marriage.
The second is Friendship love. The Greek word PHILEO is used.
Prov. 18:24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
Every successful couple must establish a strong friendship before marriage, and this friendship should continue to grow throughout their marriage. This ongoing friendship keeps the husband continually courting his wife. As illustrated in Genesis 26:8, where Abimelech, the king of the Philistines, observed Isaac playfully interacting with his wife Rebekah, married couples should be best friends who enjoy each other’s company. They should be able to discuss anything with ease and without shame.
Friendship love fosters emotional intimacy, making the couple lifelong friends. Without this, marriage can lead to frustration, with the couple remaining strangers to each other. Also, developing friendship during courtship is crucial, but it risks being undermined if the couple engages in premarital sex.
The third is Romantic love. The Greek word is EROS
Physical intimacy is driven by sexual desires and hormones, and cannot alone sustain lasting relationships. Love is not merely about feelings. In 2 Samuel 13:4, 11, 12, 14, and 15, we read the story of Amnon, who had intense feelings for his stepsister, Tamar. His obsession was so overwhelming that a friend noticed his distress. Upon inquiring, Amnon revealed that his emotional turmoil was due to his desire for Tamar. With his friend’s help, he devised a plan to lure her to his room under the pretense of illness, asking her to bring him food. When Tamar came, Amnon raped her. However, immediately after the act, his feelings turned to intense hatred, greater than his
previous affection, and he drove her away.
This story illustrates that sex is not a true indicator of love. Amnon’s feelings for Tamar were rooted in lust and infatuation, not genuine love. True love never prioritizes sexual desire over the well-being and dignity of the other person.
CALL TO ACTION:
- Ask yourself, do you love your spouse genuinely or is it mere infatuation. Infatuation cannot stand the test of time.
- Take time and reflect deeply. Sex must not be mistaken for love. Love will always protect the dignity of the other person. Love does not take others for granted.
- Think about these truths and make a choice for true love.
Day 4
MARRIAGE IS A LOVE AFFAIR (Part 4)
Three things will last forever – faith, hope, and love,and the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13 (NLT)
Yesterday, we established that there are three shades of love, and each has different characteristics. This shall be discussed below.
The first is the Godkind of love which we refer to as AGAPE (Grk).
This is unconditional love. Also referred to as covenant love. The kind of love God has for us. 1 Cor. 13: 3-8 (MSG) If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always “me first,” doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end. Love
never dies…
This love is a product of the recreated spirit; it is selfless and based on commitment that binds people together in covenant, in marriage. It forms the foundation for a lasting marriage because it is stable and gives strength to the marital relationship. “…Never looks back but keeps going to the end. Love never dies…” 1 Cor. 13:7-8
An example is the covenant between David and Jonathan. Jonathan was willing to give up the throne for David. 1 Sam 23:17-18, 2 Sam 1:26. This kind of love makes you put the interest of the other above your own interests. We can conclude that covenant love is sacrifice-driven and characterized by commitment, and a foundation for a lasting marriage.
The second is Friendship love. The Greek word PHILEO is used.
Prov. 18:24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
Every successful couple must establish a strong friendship before marriage, and this friendship should continue to grow throughout their marriage. This ongoing friendship keeps the husband continually courting his wife. As illustrated in Genesis 26:8, where Abimelech, the king of the Philistines, observed Isaac playfully interacting with his wife Rebekah, married couples should be best friends who enjoy each other’s company. They should be able to discuss anything with ease and without shame.
Friendship love fosters emotional intimacy, making the couple lifelong friends. Without this, marriage can lead to frustration, with the couple remaining strangers to each other. Also, developing friendship during courtship is crucial, but it risks being undermined if the couple engages in premarital sex.
The third is Romantic love. The Greek word is EROS
Physical intimacy is driven by sexual desires and hormones, and cannot alone sustain lasting relationships. Love is not merely about feelings. In 2 Samuel 13:4, 11, 12, 14, and 15, we read the story of Amnon, who had intense feelings for his stepsister, Tamar. His obsession was so overwhelming that a friend noticed his distress. Upon inquiring, Amnon revealed that his emotional turmoil was due to his desire for Tamar. With his friend’s help, he devised a plan to lure her to his room under the pretense of illness, asking her to bring him food. When Tamar came, Amnon raped her. However, immediately after the act, his feelings turned to intense hatred, greater than his
previous affection, and he drove her away.
This story illustrates that sex is not a true indicator of love. Amnon’s feelings for Tamar were rooted in lust and infatuation, not genuine love. True love never prioritizes sexual desire over the well-being and dignity of the other person.
CALL TO ACTION:
- Ask yourself, do you love your spouse genuinely or is it mere infatuation. Infatuation cannot stand the test of time.
- Take time and reflect deeply. Sex must not be mistaken for love. Love will always protect the dignity of the other person. Love does not take others for granted.
- Think about these truths and make a choice for true love.
Day 5
MARRIAGE IS A LOVE AFFAIR (Part 5)
Three things will last forever – faith, hope, and love,and the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13 (NLT)
Trust is a fundamental pillar in any relationship, and it is intricately woven into the fabric of love. When love is genuine, it engenders a sense of security and reliability. Partners trust each other not only to remain faithful but also to support and uplift one another through life’s challenges. This trust is built over time through consistent actions and honest communication. It allows for vulnerability, knowing that one’s partner will be there as a companion.
Respect is another critical element fostered by love. True love means valuing each other’s opinions, dreams, and individuality. It involves recognizing and appreciating differences rather than trying to change or control one another. Respectful partners engage in healthy dialogue, listen actively and make decisions collaboratively. This mutual respect strengthens the bond, allowing the relationship to grow and evolve positively.
Effective communication is essential in maintaining a loving relationship. Love motivates partners to communicate openly and honestly, sharing their thoughts, feelings, and concerns. It involves both speaking and listening as well as striving to understand each other rather than simply responding. This open channel of communication helps to deepen the emotional connection as partners feel heard and validated.
Love also brings joy and fulfillment to relationships. The small acts of kindness, the shared laughter, and the moments of intimacy all contribute to a reservoir of positive experiences. These moments become cherished memories that reinforce the bond between partners. The joy derived from love is not fleeting but a lasting contentment that comes from knowing and being known, loving and being loved.
In addition , love is resilient. It is tested by time, distance, and adversities, yet it endures. 1 Cor.13:8 … love never fails … Challenges may appear in a marriage, but love provides the strength to overcome them together. Couples who love each other deeply are more likely to work through difficulties and emerge stronger, having learned and grown together as love fosters patience, forgiveness, and perseverance.
In conclusion, love is the bedrock of lasting marital relationships. It encompasses trust, respect, communication, joy, and resilience. Love is not just an emotion but a deliberate choice to nurture and sustain a connection with another person. It is the force that turns ordinary interactions into profound bonds, creating a partnership that can withstand the test of time. To build a lasting marital relationship, cultivating deep and genuine love for each other is the most crucial step.
CALL TO ACTION:
- Reflect today on what you have read about marriage being a love affair.
Resolve to build your relationships on the stable ground of love.
Day 6
WHO IS AT THE CENTRE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP?
For from him and through him and for him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen.
Romans 11:36 (NIV)
Relationships are vital, but you need to consider who is at the center of that relationship. God is the foundation of every healthy relationship. With God at the center of your relationship, you love selflessly, communicate effectively, trust deeply and forgive freely.
We must put God at the center of our relationship and trust in His Guidance, wisdom and love to strengthen and transform our relationships. This is because God who created human beings will show you have to relate effectively for your relationship to work. Success cannot be achieved in the energy of the flesh.
A Pastor’s wife once shared her experience with me when as a single lady, she was trusting God for a life partner. According to her story, God asked her to write down what she wanted in a man, and she wrote ten things. The first on the list is that she wanted a man who had a heart, for God and would draw her closer to God. To her the remaining nine were not as important as the first. Then, she said she told God that even if the man had the other nine and lacked number one, she would not marry him but if he had number one and lack the remaining, she would. Why? A man that fears God has it all. Today, she is a Pastor’s wife and has a harmonious relationship with her husband. God is at the center of their relationship and there is mutual love and respect.
The question today is who is at the center of your relationship? Think about this and intentionally make the choice of having God at the center and watch your relationship. This should be a question you both answer in the affirmative. The watch your relationship of courtship or marriage skyrocket.
CALL TO ACTION:
- Take the first step today and decide God will be at the center of your relationships.
- Pray with your partner , asking God to be the center of your relationship.
- Study the Word (THE BIBLE) together, seeking guidance and wisdom.
- Attend a counseling session or retreat to strengthen your relationship.
Remember, a God – centered relationship is built on faith, trust and love.
Day 7
MARRIAGE: A JOURNEY OF FAITH
Abraham…was confidently waiting for God to bring him to that strong heavenly city whose designer and builder is God.
Hebrews 11:10 (TLB)
I heard God say, “Marriage is a journey of faith. You don’t know everything; you don’t know what tomorrow holds. However, I am the all-knowing one. All you need is to put your hand
in My hand, and I will lead you.”
Reflecting on thirty – five years of marriage, I can attest that it indeed is a faith journey.
When we first married, my husband and I, both chartered accountants, assumed we
would continue in our professional careers. However, by our fifth year of marriage, we felt
called into full – time ministry. By God's grace, we will celebrate thirty years in ministry
in November 2024. This journey has taken us to teach God’s ’ word across three
continents: Africa, Europe, and North America.
Along this journey, we have evolved into selfless and caring pastors, shepherding our
congregations with resilience and courage. We have faced tough situations and related
with difficult people, growing both individually and as a couple. This personal growth has
profoundly impacted our marriage.
Just as you are God’s inheritance, He is deeply interested in your marriage and premarital
relationships. Allow Him to lead, instruct, and keep you. When you let God guide your
marriage journey you will experience untold blessings, favour, progress, and prosperity.
As Deuteronomy 32:9 reminds us, "For the Lord ’ s portion is His people, Jacob His
allotted inheritance." Let God be in charge of your marriage, and you will reap the rewards.
How Do You Walk This Walk?
To make this journey a reality, you need to:
- Take one day at a time, one step at a time. As Matthew 6:34 reminds us, “Sufficient
unto the day is the evil thereof.” - Have big plans and high hopes for the future. Hebrews 11:13 speaks of those who
“having seen them afar off, were persuaded of them and embraced them.”
CALL TO ACTION:
- Reflect on this truth: Marriage is a journey!
- On the journey of marriage, your most reliable companion is the Holy Spirit. He is also your greatest ally as a couple. Invite Him to be a part of your journey today!