External
conflicts in marriage refer to challenges and pressures that originate outside
the marital relationship but can directly or indirectly impact the couple.
These may include issues with in-laws, extended family obligations, workplace
stress, or even societal expectations. Though these conflicts come from outside,
they can put significant strain on the marriage if not handled with wisdom and
unity.
In
marriage, you and your spouse should be each other’s strongest allies. You’re
on the same team—standing together, not against each other. When external
conflicts arise, maintaining a united front is key. Instead of taking sides
against your spouse, advocate for their well-being and needs, demonstrating an
unwavering commitment to their success and peace of mind.
Guidelines
for Safeguarding Your Marriage During External Conflicts
- Prioritise Your Spouse
Your spouse is your primary responsibility, not extended family or external obligations. While relationships with others are important, they should never supersede your commitment to your spouse. - Meet Each Other’s Needs First
Your role as a spouse includes ensuring your partner feels supported and secure. This involves both emotional and practical care. - Express Love and Respect Openly
Be vocal about your love and respect for your spouse, both in private and in public. This not only reassures your partner but also signals to others that your relationship is strong and should be respected. - Protect Your Unique Vision for Your Home
Every marriage is unique, and how you choose to run your home should be exclusive to the two of you. Avoid allowing external opinions to interfere with your decisions. - Establish Clear Boundaries
Create boundaries with friends, family, and colleagues that ensure respect for your marriage. When boundaries are clear, people are less likely to overstep or interfere in ways that could harm your relationship. - Honour Agreements with Your Spouse
Maintain discipline in sticking to agreements you’ve made with your spouse. Avoid being swayed by external advice or influence without first consulting your partner.
Practical Steps for Handling
External Conflicts Together
- Stand
United: Always approach external challenges as a team. This means
supporting each other emotionally and practically, even when the conflict
directly impacts one partner more than the other.
- Empathise:
Listen to your spouse’s concerns and feelings without judgment.
- Acknowledge their emotions and let them
know they’re not facing the issue alone.
- Collaborate:
Work together to identify solutions to the problem. Two heads are better
than one when it comes to resolving external conflicts.
- Pray
Together: Seek God’s guidance as a couple, inviting Him to provide wisdom
and strength to navigate the challenges.
Wisdom for Singles
If you’re
single and considering a relationship, pay close attention to how your
potential partner handles external pressures. Ask yourself:
- Can this person protect and prioritize me
during external challenges?
- Are they mature enough to manage conflicts
privately, or do they involve third parties unnecessarily?
Remember,
families often hold on to impressions long after conflicts are resolved. A
partner who cannot shield you from external ridicule or gossip may expose you
to long-term harm. Choose someone who demonstrates the maturity and discretion
necessary to protect the relationship.
A Prayer for Wisdom and Peace
May the
Lord grant us the wisdom to secure our marriages against external influences
and the strength to stand together through every challenge. May every raging
storm in our homes be stilled and may peace reign in our families.
Call to Action
·
Today, commit to standing by your spouse during external conflicts.
·
Decide to always
protect your spouse from external factors
·
Establish clear boundaries to protect your home and practice open
communication to maintain unity.
·
Be watchful and be
sensitive to influences that could negatively impact on your relationship.
·
For singles, take time to evaluate whether your potential partner has the
maturity to shield you from external pressures.
Together,
let’s build marriages that withstand external conflicts and glorify God.
Mark 10:7-9 “For this cause
shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife” “and they
twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh “What therefore God hath joined together,
let no man put asunder