The eagle is a bird that
maintains one mating partner for life, as does the dove. In contrast, many
other animals and birds are promiscuous, mating with multiple partners;
examples include dogs, sheep, and goats. God designed humans to maintain one mating
partner for life. If a bird can remain faithful to one mate, then a person,
made in the image of God, can certainly do the same.
Marriage is intended to be a
chaste, lifelong union between a man and a woman. Our marital vows are a
covenant commitment that binds us to our partners. Unfortunately, many do not
take these vows seriously and end up flirting or indulging in adultery.
Infidelity in marriage refers
to the act of being unfaithful or disloyal to your spouse, violating the
commitment and trust of the relationship. This is a sin before God and against
your partner (Genesis 16:1-16, 2 Samuel 11:1-5, 12:1-14). Infidelity can take
the form of physical acts, such as having sex with someone who is not your
partner, or emotional affairs, which involve a deep emotional connection with
someone other than your spouse. Many married people engage in flirting or
seductive behaviors at the workplace or with their secretaries. Additionally,
with the advent of social media, some people engage in sexual or romantic
conversations online, often hiding these activities from their spouses.
Infidelity
in marriage carries several significant consequences, including:
·
Erosion
of trust and intimacy in the marriage
·
Emotional
pain and trauma (Prov. 5:3-4)
·
Increased
conflicts and arguments
·
Potential
for divorce, as adultery is grounds for divorce
·
Spiritual
separation from God (Isa. 59:2)
·
Shame
and disgrace (Gal. 6:7)
History is filled with examples of men whose successes were
derailed due to infidelity in their marriages. I once heard the story of a great
warrior who had a secret affair with the wife of one of his lieutenants.
Despite knowing that the lieutenant was aware of the affair, he kept him as one
of his closest followers. As the story goes, the lieutenant gradually poisoned
the warrior with small doses of arsenic in his wine. The moral of this story is
that adultery blinds the eyes and dulls the intelligence of even the most
brilliant individuals. This was the downfall of King Solomon as seen in the
scriptures (1 Kings 11:4). Proverbs 6:27-35 warns of the horrors of adultery. A
man is not wise simply because he knows that adultery and immorality are evil;
a man is wise when he abstains from them. Beware, adultery makes people foolish
beyond measure, blurring all sense of what is right and wrong, safe and unsafe!
Don’t be a victim!
Evidence of
Unfaithfulness in Marriage
·
Adultery: This involves
voluntarily engaging in sexual activity with someone outside of marriage,
breaking the commitment of fidelity. Examples include:
o
David and Bathsheba (2 Samuel
11:1-5, 12:1-14)
o
The woman caught in adultery
(John 8:1-11)
o
The parable of the unfaithful
wife (Hosea 1-3)
·
Flirting: This behavior can be
considered a form of emotional infidelity and can harm your marriage. Examples
include:
o
Prolonged eye contact or
touching
o
Sharing personal or intimate
details with someone other than your spouse
o
Engaging in playful or
romantic interactions with someone that is not your spouse.
Flirting often involves the
heart and can be as harmful as engaging in sexual intercourse outside of
marriage. The scriptures warn that adultery is committed in the heart before
the physical act is committed. Matthew 5:28 (NIV) "But I tell
you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery
with her in his heart."
Biblical Examples of
Flirting:
- Samson
and Delilah (Judges 16:1-22)
- Potiphar’s
wife and Joseph (Genesis 39:1-20)
To Avoid Flirting and Protect Your Relationship
- Set
clear boundaries and respect your partner’s feelings.
- Avoid
engaging in behavior that could be misinterpreted.
- Prioritize
communication and intimacy with your partner.
How to Guard Against
Infidelity in Marriage
- Communicate
openly and honestly with your spouse.
- Prioritize
quality time together.
- Build
a strong emotional connection with your spouse.
- Seek
help and support when needed.
- Be
accountable to someone you trust if you have issues with infidelity.
- Cultivate
a culture of transparency and trust.
- Establish
boundaries.
CALL TO ACTION:
- Commit to an oath of
purity to stay clear of adultery.
- Be faithful to your
spouse.